Russian Porn

It's been a long while since I have posted and I apologize. Life, it seems, is always busier than we plan for it to be. Hopefully I can post at least once a week.

I've discovered through a client that many adult websites have Russian or European porn in which men with small erect penises are not rare. With a little search, I was able to find numerous erotic images of men with very small cocks having sex -- usually young men with mature women.

Is this because Europeans are more open about sex than we are in the U.S.? None of the porn sites advertise then men as having small penises either; it's not that big a deal.

Just an observation I thought I would post...

Kat

Famous Erections

This week Keith Richard's book, Life, was released and in it he revealed that Mick Jagger, according to a lover they shared, has a tiny penis. This thrilled me when I first read it, but I know that such revelations are rarely true. And so I was not surprised when Mick's ex-wife Jerry Hall stated to the press that Mick was very well endowed.

Of course, none of his other lovers have stepped forward in his defense...So it does make one wonder.

But there are whispers around Hollywood regarding other celebrity penises -- most about who is well hung (David Letterman, Harrison Ford, Charlie Chaplin). I am interested in those on the opposite end of the penile spectrum. From what I have been able to gather, the smallest of the small belong to Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and potentially Kevin Costner (but Costner's smallness was observed flaccid in cold running water -- hardly a true test).

Have any of you heard of other famous men who possess a small erect penis?

The TS/CD Question

There are a number of transexuals and crossdressers out there who have very small erect penises. But, like all groups, there are also those with large penises and average penises. What seems to happen is that some straight men have begun to fantasize about transexuals who have very feminine qualities (what is often referred to as "passable") and a small erect penis fits the bill. It may be that some men would be turned off by a very effeminate shemale who was more endowed than they, but I think it has more to do with a small penis standing in for a large erect clitoris. Of course, there are also those men who crave well endowed shemales. This is why most websites cater to both. Where you might find ten groups about endowed shemales, there are usually one or two catering to the petite penis.

But these are just my ramblings. What say you?

To Tell or Not to Tell

This question keeps coming up in conversations with women who know what it is I specialize in: Is it ever OK to be honest and tell a man he has a small penis?

The answer depends on the man and the situation. In most cases, I always err on the side of honesty. Most men who have a small penis have already realized this fact. Those who a little shy about this fact may even ask up front if you think it's too small. "Too small" is of course calls for a subjective answer. You might think his penis is small, but not too small.

If this encounter is purely casual in nature and you aren't likely to ever sleep with this man again, I wouldn't stop you from just ignoring his short comings and just open your mind and body and enjoy the sex. But I think it is good and healthy in the long run for him to know exactly where he stacks up. Believe it or not, some men who possess very small erect penises have no idea they are small. The problem stems from the fact that when flaccid, their penis is a normal 3-4 inches. But when erect, they don't grow much at all. Most men, unless they are regular porn viewers, are only exposed to the flaccid penises of other men. If they "measure up" in this respect, they think they are normal. Remember that honesty should always come with compassion. Yes, their penis is small, but perhaps that doesn't matter to you, or maybe they are really good with other aspects of lovemaking.

If someone special to you possesses a small penis, it is always best to discuss this fact openly with other aspects of your love life. If you are in love, you should be able to discuss anything with your lover -- especially sex. And if you are both thinking the same thoughts about his penis anyway, it's best to just get it out in the open and deal with it.

Comparisons

It seems men are always curious about how they measure up. This is why they are more preoccupied with size than most females. But one dark side of life and relationships that truly brings this to the forefront is when a man's lover has an affair. The pain and humiliation is sometimes accompanied by a lingering -- nagging -- thought: I bet his penis is larger than mine. Believe it or not, this sudden fear is felt by men with average to large penises. But the men who are under-endowed suffer greatly. At the core, they are most certain the lover their girlfriend or wife had taken was more endowed than they. They wonder if she initiated the affair because she needed a larger penis; they wonder if she enjoyed it much more; and if she would ever be able to come back.

Men who suffer through this often suffer physiologically. Many are unable to achieve an erection -- not only with their unfaithful lover, but even new lovers. Only in private masturbation can their penis become erect. Another manifestation is severe premature ejaculation -- lasting only one or two thrusts and sometimes ejaculating before penetration. Sometimes this is combined. I had one client whose wife had an affair with a man whose penis was twice the size of his. They reconciled their relationship, but sex was non existent. He was unable to muster more than 1/2 an erection (about 2.5 inches and less than 3 inches in circumference -- his full status was 4 inches by 3.5 inches). Even with this, his wife still pursued intercourse, but he either ejaculated in her hand as she guided him in, or once he penetrated -- before even thrusting.

He was one who never accepted his penis was small -- never wanted to think about it or confront his insecurity. It wasn't until his wife had the affair that he had to face this powerful internal fear. Part of their therapy was to accept his small penis, and to realize this was only one part of who he is as a man and lover. His wife opened up about her feelings towards him as a husband and as a lover. She also discussed in detail lovers she had previous to their relationship and did the same with her three encounters with her latest lover. While she divulged her sexual history, I had her gently caress his penis. Within thirty minutes, he was completely erect, but ejaculated almost at once. I had her continue caressing and discussing in detail her sexual history. When she was done, he was fully erect again. I told her to mount him and to move very slowly. He was able to last about five minutes.

This, of course, did not take place on their first session, but on their 9th. It took quite a while for them both to open up. But theirs is a story of comparisons -- ones many make each day. How often do you hear about a woman cheating on her husband and wonder, I bet her lover has a bigger penis than her husband!

It's a thought mostly shared by men, but a popular one nonetheless.

Length Vs. Girth

It seems many men who feel they have a small penis and are more apt to share that fact on websites and have harbor deep desires for humiliation focus mostly on length. They feel if their erect penis doesn't quite reach six inches, they are under-endowed. Length certainly plays a part in what makes a penis small, but it may not be the most significant measurement. Girth is the one key measurement many men overlook when deciding if they possess a small penis. If a man has a six inch erect penis, but has a girth of under 4 inches -- many women would consider that lover to possess a very small penis. Take a man with a 5 inch penis with a 5 inch girth, and you will get an entirely different reaction.

Most women who say size matters focus mostly on girth. It is no surprise that men who have a measured girth of 4 inches or less are more apt to be extremely sensitive to this. Most of these men would be mortified by any form of humiliation; their private torture is endured each and every day. This is magnified ten fold if their penis is also below average in length. These poor men do not like lovers to see them naked and prefer as little touching of their private parts as possible. Most of the clients I have worked with who possess such penises take much, much longer to come out of their shell.

But, like all things, communication is always the key. If you have such a penis and are privately enduring this torture, you need to learn to come out of your shell. This kind of internal humiliation is not healthy. You need to first open up -- to yourself. Accept the fact that you have a small penis. So what? Many have small ears, small hands, small breasts -- they are all body parts and they are supposed to come in a variety of shapes and sizes. That's what makes us all different, and it's what makes sex so stimulating and exciting.

Once you have accepted this fact -- open up to your lover. Tell them everything you have suffered for so long. Then tell them you are ready to open a new chapter in your life, and that, with their help, you would love to learn how to enjoy sex.

The last sentence above is true -- most of these men do not enjoy sex. Their orgasm comes quick and there is always a lingering self mutilation of their psyche.

Accept it to yourself; open up to your lover; and move on with your life.

Porn and the Small Penis II

I know I had posted on this topic before, but I have received many comments (both here and via email) regarding penis size and the porn industry. There are a few websites out there who occasionally post a sex series with a man who is less than endowed. But there aren't many and those who do usually post in the context of Fem-Domme, humiliation, and cuckoldry. Those are fine fetishes and fantasies to have, but they cannot be the sole outlet for images of men who have small penises having sex. Many young men visit porn sites and feel that the men pictured represent the norm when they are anything but. Follow this with an inbox full of ads for increased penis size and you can see how an unhealthy complex can evolve. It doesn't stop there. Young women reaching out into the internet to learn about sex are bombarded with the same images and the same ads at times. This gives them a skewed perspective on the male penis.

The key is, as always, communication and openness. Women and men should openly discuss this issue.