The Perils of Adultery

From my case files:

Infidelity by a partner is always a traumatic event in a relationship, no matter the gender or endowment of the one being cheated on. But it can be particularly crippling to one who possesses a smaller than average sized penis.

I have counseled many men and couples who struggled to move on from such an affair.


Couple X

"Mary" made an appointment to talk about an issue she had difficulty discussing with me over the phone. When she arrived, she had been crying and had to take a moment to compose herself. Eventually, she confessed that she had been having an affair with a co-worker for several months and that her husband of 12 years found out about it three weeks ago.

She said that another co-worker had alerted him to the affair. She said she loved him and wanted to stay with him and didn't know why she cheated.

I let her take a little break, then I reminded her of my specialty and asked why she came to me. She said that she believed her husband has a small penis, but never measured it. She did say it was much smaller than her lover's penis, which, according to him, was six inches.

She said her husband was devastated and can't sleep in their bedroom with her. She tried to initiate intimacy a week later, but his penis shrunk into itself. She said she continued to fondle his penis, but it wouldn't become erect. After 30 seconds of caressing it, he ejaculated while flaccid, which humiliated him further.

She eventually described how the affair began. Her co-worker was infatuated with another woman in the office who was going through a divorce. He and "Mary" had previously talked about sex and we're comfortable with the subject. He wanted to know if the other woman's soon to be ex was well endowed. She asked why he needed to know that and he replied that he had an average six inch penis and was nervous about pursuing a woman who was used to a larger penis.

So, "Mary" asked her friend, but got a vague "about average" answer. But in the meantime, Mary had been studying her desk ruler and noticed that her co-worker's penis was almost twice the size of her husband's.

She said this made her tingle with excitement. Her husband was the only lover she had ever had and the prospect of a new sensation, something bigger, excited her. She asked her co-worker to walk her to her car and she told him about the other co-worker's husband, then she confessed his penis was much larger than her husband's and it excited her. That's all it took. She said they had sex at least twice a day at work and a few times they met in a forest on weekends. She said his penis felt amazing and that she'd never felt more sexually fulfilled. He was bigger, fucked harder and lasted much longer than her husband.

She didn't experience the guilt of what she had done until she saw the pain in her husband's eyes.

When she was done recounting her encounters with her lover, I asked if she felt any sexual arousal. She admitted she did - just remembering their sex excited her. I asked if she truly did wish to save her marriage and she said yes. She ended the affair when her husband found out.

She said that her husband repeatedly asked if the man had a larger penis and, not wanting to hurt him, said no.

I told her that was the wrong thing to say. Full honesty was the only way to go forward. Plus, if his penis was half the size of a six inch penis, he KNEW his was smaller than her lover's.

She asked if there were ways to get over having a larger penis and I laughed. Of course! Women adjust to smaller penises all the time without much issue. I talked to her about using a dildo/vibrator that was no longer than her husband's penis and thinner. I also told her that she needed to give him all the details he asks for about the affair - to be truthful, especially about her feelings for him and their marriage. Then, I needed to see them both.


Part II:

"Mary" and "Mark" come into my office together.