Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Measuring Up

A few years ago a new female client complained that her husband's erect penis was too small to satisfy her.  This is a common complaint in my office from women because it is my specialty, but hers had a unique twist.  After my initial interview with her, I began to suspect that her husband's penis was probably average.  Before her husband, she had only had sex with two other men in her life.  On our second session, I gave her a block of clay and asked her to sculpt as accurately as possible the length and girth of her husband's penis and of the two penises she has previously experienced.

The sculpture of her hsuband's penis measured 7 inches inlength and 5 inches in girth.

The sculpture of her first lover's penis measured 8.5 inches in length and 5.5 inches in girth and the sculpture of the lover she had before her husband measured 9.25 inches in length and over 6.5 inches in girth.

Her husbands' erect penis is actually a bit above average, but because of her limited experience, she assumed he was quite below average.

I always preach that communication is the key to resolving all issues in the bedroom and this was no different.  She had to openly and honestly discuss the issue of penis size with him and it took over a month before she finally had the talk.  He was devastated at first, but after a few weeks decided to come with her to my office for a session.  He admitted he was quite aroused when she described her former lover's organs and was open to the idea of either watching her make love to a man with a larger penis or participating.  She, however, did not want to have a penis larger than his.  She wanted his penis to satisfy her.

I gave her a routine that included kagel exercises and masturbation, with her husband's help, with small dildos.  But after a month she still hadn't noticed much of a difference.  In the end, what worked for her was to in fact take on another lover. Not a lover with a large penis, but a lover with a very small one.  Her husband was able to experience his voyeuristic fantasies while she was able to recalibrate her vagina and mind to accept her husband's penis for the above-average organ it is.  After two love making sessions with her smaller lover, her husband was able to bring her to orgasm.  She told me later that her husband felt immensely larger and had never had better sex with him.

The couple is still together and she continues to retain the services of her small lover.

One of my female clients years ago said that a small penis works better than a decade's worth of kagel exercises.

In the end, just about any man can experience what it's like to have a small penis or even a large penis.  It just depends on the experiences of your current lover. 


  1. What an interesting and very creative solution for them! So often we hear about the reverse – the woman who is sexually frustrated because of her husband’s lack of penis size desiring a larger man to provide her with the sexual fulfillment her husband cannot provide. Was this your suggestion or did they arrive at it on their own? I would also be interested in learning how they went about finding a small endowed man to “help” them with their problem, and did they share with him why they wanted his participation? I would also be curious to know what the small endowed man thought about it all. This was a very interesting post!

  2. Perception is key here. As an underendowed male with both PE and ED it took me a long time to finally understand that I need someone that doesn't view me as something broken that needs to be fixed but rather as something that could be celebrated and have fun with. The whole perception as "broken" rather than "Awesome" was mostly the problem. Really what woman wouldn't want a man that was not only the stable guy to marry but also shares in your sexual adventures outside the relationship? Perception.

  3. Kathy,

    I am a 24 year old male, concerned about my size. I know that it is actually on the larger side of normal, but was hoping you could provide some solutions so that I do not dwell on it on a daily basis.

    My stats are the following:

    Flaccid: 4 inches long with 4 inch girth. Sometimes its between 4.2 - 4.3 inches long and 4.2 - 4.3 inch girth. When I get cold or workout, it gets to be around 3.5 to 3.7 inches long.

    Erect: 6.8 - 7 inches long and 4.5 - 5 inch girth, depending on how aroused I am.

    I've only been with one girl, who has never complained anything about the size. In fact she says its big, and complains of hurting sometimes.

    What would you suggest for me to accept my penis, and move on?

    Thank you!

    Please feel free to email me at biggerthanaverage@vzw.blackberry.net for your response.

  4. i am and have been small. My erection is under three inches and that's fully erect. Most times it barely makes two inches. My wife gets frustrated of me slipping out all the time. She says she is happy as long as my tongue keeps working.
    We are now in a D/s relationship with each other and She is in control. This keeps me excited at all times.
    i am not content with my small penis and like to know what you suggest.
    thank you

    1. You need to accept your penis for what it is. Do you get enjoyment/sexual satisfaction from your current situation with your wife? How well do you each communicate your desires and fantasies?

    2. good point! no pun intended...

  5. God should kill everyone of us. but I'm not waiting for God anymore.

  6. This is a Great blog... Thanks

    I think I will be changing My advice on the subject to include the small penis therapy as a good Option..
    as well as your blogee addy.

    Miss KC

  7. Kathy,

    This is a great blog for those of us with smaller members. I have read your first blog about what can be defined as a small penis and i am a bit confused because i fit into one category but not the other. Where do you think i stand because i am somewhere between 4 and 4.5 erect - depending on how aroused i am and also a touch overweight - and an average 4.6 girth - although i am 5 for the last inch - and at tops 1.75 in width.

    Thank you for your advice

    1. Your length is definitely below average, but girth-wise your are average. So I'd say you have a short penis and not a small one...

  8. Hi Kathy. I am 3.75-4,4.25 erect. Not sure of girth. I have actually been complimented numerous times over my prowess in bed. I have made several women squirt as well. I often last for 45 minutes to an hour and a half. I typically engage in heavy foreplay with a lot of clitoral stimulation. With both fingers and mouth. After 10-15 minutes of foreplay, I insert my well below average size penis. I notice most of the time that her vagina will get more and more wet to the point of leaking onto the sheets. I am very ashamed of my size. However, very confident in my skill. I have had several ex girlfriends cheat on their over endowed boyfriends with me. I know it comes off as though I'm bragging. I'm just retelling what I have been told and experienced. My wife of six years is constantly groping me even in public places. She complains I don't "do" her enough and gets extremely jealous even if I am just being friendly with a female cashier. She used to try to catch me cheating as well as accused me of it several times. She is physically attractive. So it's not desperation or insecurity. She claims she knows what I can do and does not want any other woman to experience it. Tell me if you have ever heard of women being so sexually attracted to a significantly under endowed man before?

  9. Great lovers come in all sizes, dear...Some, like you, just have it regardless of their penis size.

  10. I'm a 43 y.o married man with an "underdeveloped" penis as well as testicles (this was confirmed by the uroligist. My wife of 25 years had been with a lot of men prior to me ans she says all but one were bigger than me, and the majority were a lot bigger - and a few were enormous, as she puts it. She has a very loose vagina and I've had a complex about my small size since the beginning of our relationship. My erect measurements are 4.5" long x 4.25" circumference. When flaccid, it's about 4" long, so I'm neither a shower nor a grower, so to speak. She says that she's very embarrassed by my smallness and that she does not want her girlfriends to find out how small I am for fear of them thinking less of her that she's "settled for" a man with a little one. She admitted about 5 years ago that she's been unfaithful to me since the first year we were married, starting with my then-best friend. She says he came on to her and she liked the feeling of being wanted and admitted that his bulge in his pants was intriguing and she was pleasantly surprised that he was very long and extremely thick and could make love for a very long time. This went on for about 5 years without my knowledge. She also admitted to having multiple one-night-stands whenever I would go out of town. We're still together even after I found out about this, partly due to the fact that on some level I feel that I deserve it because I cannot satisfy her sexually. She's said for years that I'm the "perfect size," but when I asked her about why she cheated so much, she admitted that I'm just too small - both in length and girth and that I don't "do it" right. She now admits that I'm tiny and says that if I can find a woman who would be satisfied by my little "pinto bean," I should pursue it. As a result of all this, I'm incredibly insecure about my lack of equipment along with everything else. I admit that I'm enjoying the Small Penis Humiliation I get from her, and consider myself a "Small-Dicked Cuckold" who has to have men with man-sized cocks satisfy my wife because I'm ill-equipped to handle the job. Our sex life is nil anymore. Would it possibly be healthy for us to pursue this cuckold lifestyle by bringing another lover in to satisfy her while I participate on some level? It actually turns me on to imagine her getting satisfied by a long, thick one and I'd love to experience it live, if possible.

  11. I've got about six and a half inches but would like to be bigger. What do you think

  12. By the way nice ass

  13. I am 18 years old my dick measures about 5" in length and 4" in girth when its erect and I last 3-5 minutes... Is it normal for my age??

  14. Kathy,
    I was a premature baby. My testicles had not even descended from my abdomen. I was given injections of male hormones while still in the hospital.
    My testicles did descend soon after, but they were under-developed. My penis was almost a micropenis.
    The hormone treatments enlarged my testicles and allowed them to develop but it did nothing for my penis.

    I had more treatments during puberty but nothing improved.

    I am now terrified about sex with my girlfriend. We have only kissed.

    I don't like talking about this at all. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do about my condition. I'm about 4" long and about the same around. AND my balls are undersized

  15. I don't "measure-up" either.
    I'm young (18) and am ashamed of my tiny size.
    I used to like penis when I was younger as a kid, but I'm done growing and my penis stop growing way too early.
    James A

  16. I have just fallen in love with this site!! Long before I married I have been aware of the fact my underendowment, but it was not until the subject came up during sex shortly after we started dating.I admitted for the first time that I was gay and that I wanted to see her with other men. For yeats after that our sex life was filled with sph,size comparison, and men with larger cocks. I became addicted of sorts to hearing humiliating comments and watching other men plesuring my wife, so much so that we did every aspect of it to the fullest extent includeing outing me to friends,strangers,etc we ran it in to the ground you could say. she became so feed up with me and my behaviour that she just gave up on sex completly! Like overnight!!! We havent had sex in almost 7 yrs. She couldnt care less, but I am so sexually frustrated that it become a pyhcological problem! It has caused mental issues within my mind that I wont get in to right now but it does have me very concerned for my mental state. Hpw do I fix this!! I feel like Ive tried everything with no avail. Any ideas????

  17. As a few other guys replied, I was born 5 weeks premature. My balls were inside my abdomen for quite a while until the medicine helped for 1, the other ball was surgicallying lowered. Both balls never developed much so they are very small and dI'd not produce enough testosterone. The result was a very late and mild puberty. I started puberty at 17 with special hormones.
    My penis is around 3 3/4" long 3 1/2" girth when I am stiff erect. I have always have premature ejaculations. Any my balls still get suckered up into my abdomen when I get excited. I have almost no body hair and being blonde, it looks like I have no public hair and my small sack is hairless.
    I have been advised by adult women that if/when I meet a girl ready to have sex with me that it should always be done in the dark.
    And I'm really nervous about being humiliated as a micro-penis.
    I scared to death.

  18. Its free to wrap your cock and grow it with ace wrap, tape. Its free to get big with jelqing, stretching exercises. At this point its a modern IQ Test. Very few are born as big as our busy, penis exercising friends in porn. Smh, just look stuff up!

  19. It'll take a decade to go from thumbcock to meatrail. Bud. Get ready for research, fun work, and hand filling rewards. I mean, I had health problems down there as baby. Didn't start great. And now I'm seven. I feel like God if God was so much better than something infinitely better than God. That's what dick will do. I mean I turn myself on.

  20. Seven inches I am now; so not average. I am cackling evilly.

  21. my penis is 5 inch errect i m from india is it normal... plz girls replays . i think they understood well . plz help me

  22. I'm nearly 75, and have a 4.25-4.50 inch penis when erect. I have never been self-conscious about my size, and have been married 3 times, with no complaints. I have also had sex with about 20 other women who have not commented or complained, so I'd recommend to all who perceive themselves as "under-endowed" to stop obsessing about it immediately. I decided a long time ago, that if I can't be big; I'd better be "good" at lovemaking, and I am.....no one complains or comments after being with me.