Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The Woman's Perspective

I have received a lot of emails from women who find themselves on a particular side of the penis size issue.  They are tired of hearing their lovers continually ask if their erect cock is too small for them. 

This is a delicate issue because some of these men are genuinely concerned and worried that they are indeed too small.  But, as I have written before, honesty is always the best policy.  Most of the women who have written me said they dismissed their worries with a quick, "It's not small!" or "size doesn't matter!".  These responses are not likely to have the desired effect and will more likely lead to more worry and more questions. 

There are also men who WANT to be told they have a small penis, whether they do or not.  This should be treated as any other fantasy/fetish in the bedroom between two honest and consenting adults.  My advice is, tell him what he wants to hear, but make sure that he plays along with any of your fantasies the next time.

But to those who are overly concerned...Here is what I would do:

Take your lover to the bedroom and ask him to remove all of his clothes while you do the same.  Then  ask him to lay on his back while you lie next to him and gently stroke his penis.  Don't talk to him and just shush him if he begins to talk.  Once he is fully erect, ask him if he thinks he has a below average penis.  What ever he says, tell him that the average erect penis is about 5.5 inches in length and about 4.5 inches in girth (objective part).  Then tell him what you think of his penis -- be honest!  (subjective part)  

Take out a fabric tape measure (which is made of cloth and not metal!) and measure his length and then his girth.  If he is average to above average in both categories, you can tell him so.  If he is below average in one category or both, you need to have an honest and deep discussion about his penis.  Start by examining it, note every vein, mole, wrinkle, etc.  You need to totally focus on his penis with your hands and words.  Tell him he has a beautiful penis, one worthy of your full attention.

If your lover asks about other lovers and their cocks, be honest.  If you try to shelter them from humiliation, they'll sense it, which is more humiliating than the truth. 

This is something you will have to do at least four times a week for a few months.  They are obsessed with the size of their penis.  You need to share in that obsession for a while, too.


  1. No, I don't have a small PP - mine's a lil under 5". Poifect for Heaven where we can accomplish anything. God bless you.

  2. Wonderful post, and a lovely blog altogether! I'm pretty new to blogging but will be sure to check back regularly :)

    Goddess Gracie xx

  3. I really enjoyed reading this post. I completely agree with what should be done 4 times a week for months. Male with a small penis.

  4. Excellent post! It really all boils down to sexual honesty. Unfortunately, in a lot of relationships that important ingredient is missing. As you pointed out in an early post, men with small penises already know it. Some are angry about being shortchanged and are in denial about it, while others accept it but are embarrassed about it, and still many others, as you mentioned, know they’re small and are turned on by their wives openly acknowledging it. Many men (I’m one of them), have gone through all three phases – denial, embarrassment to arousal.

    Your suggestion on how women should approach this delicate issue is perfect. It brings the subject out in the open where you can deal with it honestly. Let me add one thing to what Kathy suggested. If you measure his erect penis and it is small, and he acknowledges it, judge his reaction. Does it seem to turn him on to admit it? And, what is his reaction when you acknowledge it? Does his cock get harder and start pulsating? If it does, he is probably very excited and turned on. Hard cocks don’t lie.

    For the record, my wife and I tried this experiment and our relationship changed for the better. To be honest, it’s been a big relief to both of us. I used to be embarrassed to let her even see me when I was nude with a flaccid cock because when it’s soft, I’m very small. Now, I have shed all of that baggage and am very comfortable with her seeing me soft or hard. I also no longer have to pretend that I am a big cock stud when the reality is I’m not. It’s been very liberating for me.

    My wife has also been much more open too. She used to tell me that I had a big cock, because she thought that was what I wanted to hear even though it wasn’t true. Telling a small endowed man that he has a big cock is probably the worst thing a woman can do. When she first placed the ruler next to my erect penis, she said, “Wow, you are small.” She was also very perceptive seeing my reaction and said, “It turns you on that I know you’re small and tell you doesn’t it?” I confessed that it did. Now, she openly acknowledges that I have a very small cock or a little cock, both of which are accurate descriptions.

    She also pleasantly surprised me and confessed two other things too. The first was that there were certain sex positions that didn’t work for her because of my small size. So, we have incorporated a whole variety of small penis sex positions that very well work for both of us. Secondly, and without any prompting from me, she also confessed that all of her previous lovers were much better endowed than I am. And, while she is satisfied with my smaller size, there was something visually exciting about a larger one. We have since added a couple of larger, realistic looking dildos to our sex life that has added a whole new and exciting dimension for us.

    For those of you women out there that have avoided this subject, take Kathy’s advice. It’s all about sexual honesty.

  5. talk about a long absence in blogging!! im glad you are back, this is a great blog

  6. Hi Kathy - first, I just wanted to let you know that I really love this site! I hope that I'm not imposing on you, but I'm beginning to get somewhat worried about my situation and was wondering if I might ask for some help. I'm a 21 year-old guy who just moved to Boston and happens to have a small penis (by your standards). I'm also a virgin and suffer from social anxiety disorder. I'm beginning to realize that the longer I stay in this state of knowing that my penis is small, but only fantasizing about how girls will react to it, the harder it will be to ever enter into intimate relations.

    Anyway, I was really hoping that you might have some advice as to where I could get some therapy for this. I'm hesitant to look blindly because I know that there is a good chance that most therapists would take the "deny that it's small" approach to combat this, and I think that would actually set me back substantially. My email is thantophobia2@gmail.com - thank you so much for what you've done for the under-endowed of the world!

    1. I would first look for a registered sex therapist. If that route doesn't work, an alternative might be a FemDom who specializes in humiliation. I know a great many under-endowed men who have gone this route with great satisfaction.

    2. Act, my friend, before you are confirmed in your paralysis of expectations.

  7. It seems as my "fat ppatch". Is bigger than my penis., my pube hairs are longer....... Idk Wat to do.... I'm 21 years old. Nd I'm still a virgen...... Its kind of embarrassing. Most of the guys / friends I know. Have had sex before even graduating high school......... Hell! My lil brother gets more pussy than me...... Now that's a shame.....

  8. Don't tell a guy with a small Enid he is big - top advice.

    If you want to read a very honest blog and a very funny poem on the subject please check my link


    If you find it interesting or fun please do share the link.

  9. I agree with you Ant Smith. I heard that lie from a girl once. I thought to myself that she will probably lie about a lot of things.
    And (pardon the pun)....It was belittling to me.

  10. Great and hot story ! ... I almost came in my pants - my wife needs to call her bull, I think ...
    By the way, in my blog (lovinsmallpenis.wordpress.com) I also write about this topic... have you read it yet?

  11. From a small penis man's pov, honesty is the best policy. My wife has always been up front about my shortcomings, often in an amusing way, just to keep things fun between us. We also have an agreement that it's ok for her to have sex with more well endowed men, otherwise our marriage wouldn't survive. It works for us!