Thursday, March 12, 2009

Length Vs. Girth

It seems many men who feel they have a small penis and are more apt to share that fact on websites and have harbor deep desires for humiliation focus mostly on length. They feel if their erect penis doesn't quite reach six inches, they are under-endowed. Length certainly plays a part in what makes a penis small, but it may not be the most significant measurement. Girth is the one key measurement many men overlook when deciding if they possess a small penis. If a man has a six inch erect penis, but has a girth of under 4 inches -- many women would consider that lover to possess a very small penis. Take a man with a 5 inch penis with a 5 inch girth, and you will get an entirely different reaction.

Most women who say size matters focus mostly on girth. It is no surprise that men who have a measured girth of 4 inches or less are more apt to be extremely sensitive to this. Most of these men would be mortified by any form of humiliation; their private torture is endured each and every day. This is magnified ten fold if their penis is also below average in length. These poor men do not like lovers to see them naked and prefer as little touching of their private parts as possible. Most of the clients I have worked with who possess such penises take much, much longer to come out of their shell.

But, like all things, communication is always the key. If you have such a penis and are privately enduring this torture, you need to learn to come out of your shell. This kind of internal humiliation is not healthy. You need to first open up -- to yourself. Accept the fact that you have a small penis. So what? Many have small ears, small hands, small breasts -- they are all body parts and they are supposed to come in a variety of shapes and sizes. That's what makes us all different, and it's what makes sex so stimulating and exciting.

Once you have accepted this fact -- open up to your lover. Tell them everything you have suffered for so long. Then tell them you are ready to open a new chapter in your life, and that, with their help, you would love to learn how to enjoy sex.

The last sentence above is true -- most of these men do not enjoy sex. Their orgasm comes quick and there is always a lingering self mutilation of their psyche.

Accept it to yourself; open up to your lover; and move on with your life.


  1. I am 4.5" long & 5" in girth. Much of what you wrote in this post is interesting and I would like to discuss it further with you.

  2. i am both short and thin. the worst of the worst. i can see how bing short is one thinkg if you are at least thick or average, but being both is the most humiliating. I will measure both and report back to you kathy. Save me a seat on Your couch please!

  3. Hello Kathy, I just discovered your blog and I was blown away by it, a women that prefers men with small penis and counsels them as well?! I never imagined that such a blog could exist. Anyways its a great blog. I was wondering if you could comment about an issue of mine. I have a pretty small penis (length 5 1/4" girth: 4 1/4") and I hate it. But what I hate more is the fact that it curves, quite drasticly downward. I basically have a banana curve pointing towards the floor. I was wondering what your thoughts are about penis curvature. Thanks. (btw, It sucks you moved to SF, I live central florida I could've taken therapy w/ you!)
    PS; my email is

  4. have you given up posting or just theraphy

  5. im only 4.25 thick. its humiliating

    an extra 2 inches of length and 1.5 girth is all i wish for. i hate it. id be much more confident about my sexuality and raging sex drive if i was bigger

    fuk my life

  6. Hi, recently i have been hating my package. I have extremely small testicles, and my penis is very thin. Im ok with the length which is 7 inches, but with the combination of small testicles and the girth only being 4.5 inches, i don't feel like i can satisfy anyone. I know this is very thin so most likely my current girlfriend's exes probably had way bigger than mine, and i cant get it out of my head. This is affecting me way more than anything ever and is making me depressed. I consonantly worry and feel hopeless. please help

  7. i am 5.75 inches long and 4.3 inches thick

    the average is supposedly 6 inches long and 4.75 inches thick according to wikipedia

    i wish i was 7 inches long and 5.5 inches thick

    it's only a matter of 3 cm of length and 3 cm of thickness. but it would make a great deal in stretching a womans wet pussy and giving her an orgasm or making her squirt.

  8. Hmm, I am not particularly short, actually pretty average according to wikipedia, but my girlfriend's been with a few guys that were substantially larger in the past.

    We have an open relationship and somehow I fear the day she has sex with a bigger guy, and notices the difference, and will remember that the bigger guy was better.

    The problem is not that I can't please her through intercourse per se, but that the others can please her more in that manner. I know about the irrationality and the importance of other factors, but my mind doesn't agree.

    However sometimes I long for feeling inadequate: for example having a threesome with another guy with a really big penis, letting him penetrate her first, hearing her moaning, then letting him cum inside her. Then immediately after I penetrate her. However because she just got stretched up a bit it'll feel loose and because of his big device she'll be able to feel me less.

    This feeling of inadequacy turns me on and I am even willing to pursue it. However I'm also afraid that it might be unhealthy for me to do so because even though it is very stimulating, it might make me more uncertain about myself.

    I'm sure some other guys will find parallels with my story. Please share! :)

  9. I have a 5 inch long penis and it's skinny too, measuring 4 inches total all the way around in circumference. One of my past girlfriends commented in a matter of fact manner that my girth was small, and I appreciated her candor. It's helped me to realize my short comings, and it has helped me to concentrate on using other sexual techniques to try and please my lovers. I've also come to the realization that I enjoy being cuckolded. Most of my past girlfriends have ended up cheating on me, and I don't know if it was because of my penis, or other reasons, but at least now I can deal with sex in an open relationship, and let my lover explore more than what I can offer, in an open, honest manner.

  10. Hi Kathy,

    I've read through all your posts and your view on this whole subject really interests me.

    Just a quick fact about me, I just measured and I am 5.3" in length and 4.1" in girth.

    I'd really love to talk to you more on this just to understand more as I have much more to say. Having someone tell you how it really is (ie: their professional opinion) would be much more comforting.

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  12. Mine is 6.25" long but a pathetic 4"in girth - a classic pencil dick.After the wife left me for a guy with a 8" long 6" girth dick I started reading up on the issue and found my girth is statistically the size of a 14 year old=considered tiny for an adult.I thought she was unfair saying that his dick was twice as big as mine. Now that I realize how small my volume is I found that probably he was 3 times as big. Since then I've had sex with a few women but never twice and some have even told me I was too thin to satisfy.One said it hurt because it was like getting "poked with a stick".

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  14. i have a tiny penis at only 3.5 inches in length and about the same in girth. My Wife has had to take on other lovers over the years for Her satisfaction, and knowing how tiny i am, She does like to humiliate me, and that humiliation is a big turn on for me. Even though i usually will release before i even enter Her, i get a great amount of satisfaction from the humiliation and the orgasm it brings. We have used this in our relationship to our advantage to last the 35 yrs we have been together